A tick in my spirit is not enough argument to stand on. I should be able to stand and I feel guilt that still, even now, I am inadequate. I need to go back to my philosophy books. The fifth (or sixth or seventh) time’s the charm, right?
But there’s a contractor coming at two o’clock and the floor is full of crumbs and something smells boy-laundry-bad in the utility room.
Which brings me back to the point at hand. I can’t explain the whys and the terms. Words like post-modern and panentheism should trip off my tongue by now, but instead they trip me up. All I can say is something smells fishy.
I hate fighting. It makes my stomach hurt and my knees wobbly.
But in case you were wondering, I will not be swayed from this spot. See my shaking, clay-dirt covered feet? They are dug in deep into His word. Shaking but not shaky. The truth I try so hard to grasp and breathe in has penetrated, if only a little. So I stand here, desperately hoping. I know where my help comes from.
I know what I know and will not be moved. The difference between stubbornness and conviction is whose voice you listen to. Feelings lie, but the Truth doesn’t. Turn the pages in the Book and speak to its Author. Just the facts, please, without muddy thinking.
We are corrupted by our own wisdom, fed philosophy before we learn how to tie our shoes. If you think not, you do not understand the term. Everything is built on something.
Read your Bible, and not a verse here and there. Read it straight out, great drippy chunks of it. Read a whole book, and then read it again. I was brought up on the Word, yet here I am listening to chapters over and over and finding out I don’t know so much. Somewhere around the fourth repetition I think I may be starting to get it. Maybe. All my learning tends to get in the way, but the repetition of the word wears at those false walls.
Ask why and why and why. Do not strangle your questions. Do not follow man, even if it is a man who says do not follow man.
Do not ask, “What does this mean for me?” or “How do I make sense of this?” ask only, plain and simple, “What does it mean?”
You are precious in His sight, but you are not the center, beloved child.
Study philosophy before you quote philosophers. Use your own capable brain. Wrap your weary mind around the hard edges of logic and truth. It’s good medicine. And we are sick, there is no doubt of that.